Portal Secret Santa 2015
by Blueotterkitty
Summary: The Crystal Gems encounter a certain Aperture Science personality construct. (Written for drawinggalaxy for Portal Secret Santa 2015.)


"Peridot! Did you see that in the sky? I think it landed over there," Steven shouted, pointing over a grassy hill. They had been searching for junk Pearl could use for the drill when a bright light had streaked across the sky and crashed nearby.

"Wait, Steven," said Peridot, grabbing his arm as he started to trudge up the hillside. "It might be something from Homeworld. If they find out I've become a crystal clod, I'm done for." Steven gave her a pointed look.

"And they'll probably take both our gems out. Permanently." Steven's gaze steeled.

"Okay," Steven said, squeezing Peridot's hand. "But I think we should go get a look before we tell the gems." Peridot wrinkled her nose.

"Fine, but don't say I didn't tell you so." They came to the top of the hill and looked down over the crash site. Piles of upturned dirt and grass formed a small ridge around the impact crater, smoke still rising from its depths. As the dust cleared, Steven could make out a round silhouette at the bottom of the shallow crater. If Homeworld had sent another gem to investigate, they were even smaller than Peridot or Steven. He figured that if it came down to it, he could hold off the gem long enough to get help. But Steven counted on this one being just as reasonable as Peridot.

"Let's get closer," Steven exclaimed, grabbing Peridot and running down the hill.

"Are you _insane_? What if it _is_ them? We'll be snatched up in seconds!"

A metal sphere sat at the bottom of the crater, coated with dirt and rock. Steven and Peridot hovered at the edge of the crater, waiting for any signs of movement.

"That doesn't look like it's from Homeworld," Steven whispered.

"I don't think it is, Steven. I would know, seeing how –" Then it wouldn't be too dangerous to get a closer look. He stepped down into the crater, getting as close as he could to the metal sphere without touching it. Was it a robot from another planet, like the drones Peridot had brought to fix the warp pad? It wasn't like the robots Steven had seen – it had two metal shutters like an eyelid over most of its central panel, and a set of handlebars above and below the main sphere.

"Well, we got this close and nothing bad happened," said Peridot, crossing her arms. "Go ahead and touch it – if the crash didn't set it off, I don't know what will."

"Okay," Steven said, gingerly extending a hand to the surface –

– which almost burned his skin straight off his fingers. Steven did the appropriate thing in the situation and screamed.

"What are you screaming for?" Peridot asked, running her fingers along the surface of the sphere as steam rolled off. "It's not that bad." She flicked dirt off her hand and it sizzled on the ground.

"Yeah, it is! Remember I'm not full gem, I'm different," Steven said.

"Right." Peridot turned back to the metal sphere. "Looks like some kind of imaging device. The optic is grossly oversized, but it's well protected from the elements." She leaned in close, fingers tracing faded blue lettering along the curve of the plating. "A… P…E…R…T… whatever, I can't read that. The important thing is we might be able to get some useful parts out of it. Come on, let's take this thing back to Pearl."

"Yep, she'll know exactly what to do with it," said Steven. Peridot rolled her eyes, but Steven pretended not to notice. Peridot tugged at the top handle several times before pulling the sphere out with a final, hefty jerk. She stumbled, almost falling over, but quickly regained her balance.

"Sorry I can't help you carry it," Steven said, " but I've got sensitive mitts!" Peridot mumbled something about that being what they all say, but followed Steven back in the direction of the barn.

* * *

"Hey Pearl, Peridot and I found you a thing," said Steven, bursting into the barn. "We've got no idea what it is, but we think you'll love it!"

"Oh, that's nice, Steven," said Pearl. She was bent over two huge pieces of curved metal, welding them together. The flame reflected off her welding mask as sparks flew around the two curved pieces of metal.

"Just set the thing over on the workbench and I'll get to it in a moment –" Peridot dropped the sphere on a cluttered workstation with a clatter. "NOT THAT WORKBENCH, the other one, the empty one."

"Sorry," said Peridot, and switched the location of the sphere.

"It's fine, I think, as long as there weren't any important electronics over there."

"You mean these piles of silver dust?" Welp.

"Oh my, that had better be a good piece you brought me." Pearl finished up her welding and set down her gear. She came over to the workbench where Steven and Peridot were waiting.

"It looks like an ancient robot," said Pearl, picking up the sphere and looking it over. She picked up a rag and rubbed the dirt off the plating. "Maybe something involved in the wars… or older."

"I told you it was a robot," Steven said to Peridot.

"Well, what kind of clod would design a robot with a sensor that big?" she replied, crossing her arms.

"Let's see if I can get this thing reactivated," said Pearl. "Steven, hand me that cable." He picked up the extension cord off the ground. Pearl tried the cord in several different outlets on the back of the sphere before finding the compatible one.

"There we go—"

"Space!" The trio collectively jumped as the robot's metal eyelid flickered open over a bright amber iris. "Is this space? Where did space go?" The robot's eye darted around the room.

"Sorry, but we're not in space anymore," said Pearl.

"Yeah, you're on Earth now," said Steven.

"Earth? Too much of Earth." The robot's shutters narrowed. "I wanna go back to space. Will you take me back to space like the other nice lady?"

Pearl sighed. "Sorry, we can't take you back. You're stuck here on Earth. Just like the rest of us." She picked up her screwdriver. "Now, it looks like you need some repairs…" The robot shivered, eye locked on the tool. "Don't touch me with your earth stuff, lady. I don't need repairs. Gotta go back up there!"

"Then tell us who you are and why you've come to this planet," Peridot demanded, grabbing the screwdriver and brandishing it at the robot.

"Space rock," the robot shouted, orange iris reduced to an agitated point. "Space rock wanted to become earth rock. Crazy rock hit me. Sent towards Earth. Wanna be a space rock again."

"Steven, are you getting any of this?" asked Pearl, snatching the screwdriver back and setting it on a higher shelf that the others couldn't reach.

"Kind of. I think the robot's saying he was in orbit and then an asteroid came and knocked him back to Earth."

"You mean, a meteor," said Pearl. She met the robot's eye. "So what was your purpose up there? Maybe as an imaging satellite…" Pearl looked over the outer casing. Steven climbed on top of the workbench to get a closer look.

"Purpose – purpose is space. Always to see space. Need space to have purpose. I'm the Space Core. The core of space. Need to get back – space is missing its core. Will fall apart."

"Never mind that, then," said Pearl. "This robot is incredibly sturdy for being so old. One would think it would've fallen apart after all this time, but it's still in prime condition excepting the damage in the fall." Steven nodded. His eyes fell on the blue text still stamped on one side of the Space Core, and he had an idea.

"Hey Pearl, could I have a magnifying glass?" She handed him one with a nod.

"Thank you," he said, leaning in close to the Space Core, who bristled and tried very hard not to twitch.

"Hey, give me some space!"

"With a simple deduction from this writing," Steven pointed to the text, "the Space Core came from a place called Aperture Science."

"Aperture? That's what it said? I think I've heard that name before," said Peridot.

"Curious, curious," said Steven, "but I think I could learn more through further investi –"

"Steven, get away from that thing _right now_ , you don't know what you're doing!" Pearl pushed him off the workbench, acting as a barrier between him and the Space Core.

"Um, what's wrong, Pearl?"

"What's wrong, lady?" asked the Space Core. "Ooh, ooh, I got it! You figured it all out. Found your spaceship. And your space suit. So we can go now. To space."

"That robot is from Aperture Science! I refuse to have it anywhere near you or our… guest. What were you thinking, bringing it into the barn?"

"Wait, what's wrong with Aperture Science? It's only old tech, how dangerous can it be?" Steven asked. He didn't understand what he'd done wrong. Was Aperture a company that had worked with Homeworld gems?

"Space is dangerous. Lady needs air there. Better bring a space suit. Suit to keep the space out."

Pearl's shoulders slumped. "I haven't told you about it yet?"

"No, I don't think so. I think I would remember something like that."

"Well… Aperture was a science company before the war. They were obsessed with perfecting their quantum tunneling technology, so when they came across an old Gem warp pad, they decided to experiment with it. Homeworld had forgotten all about Earth since the time they found a bunch of giant lizards here," Pearl laughed, "so when the human scientists showed up on our doorstep, that kickstarted the whole diplomatic crisis that led to the war."

"War. Space war. Bloody moon space war. Spaceships, space fights, missiles, explosions. War in space - not good," said the Space Core. "Space dad will never see space son again."

"Okay…" Steven kept smiling, confused.

"And in exchange for their freedom under Homeworld's rule, Aperture agreed to help them take the planet. How foolish could they get?" Pearl snorted. "It was like when their rival Black Mesa -"

"Black Mesa," exclaimed the Space Core, eye panels narrowing. "Not good. Shouldn't be in space. Don't deserve to see stars, planets. Meteors too good for them! All mine, oh, I gotta go back and save the meteors!"

Pearl sighed, looking off into the distance.

"I think that's enough of a history lesson for one day," said Amethyst, jumping down from her perch in the rafters. Steven still wanted to know more. Why would humans actually agree to help the Homeworld gems at the expense of their friends and families? And what happened to them afterwards?

"I agree with Amethyst," said Peridot. "These people sound like a bunch of boring clods."

"Clods. Lots of clods in space. Mineral clods, rock clods, space clods. Let's go check out the clods."

"Anyway," Pearl said, "we need to get rid of this robot before it betrays us as well -"

"What's all this about?" Garnet stood in the doorway of the barn, eyes on the Space Core.

"Hi, Garnet! We found this old robot and -"

"Oh, it's no big deal," said Pearl. "Just some old tech that we're going to dispose of. I couldn't find anything to use in the drill in it."

"Hey. Hey, lady. Wanna take me to space? It'll be fun!"

"No thanks," said Garnet, walking over to the Space Core. "So what kind of robot are you, buddy?"

"A space robot," he proclaimed, orange iris lighting up. "Designed for space, built for space, knows about space. Worked in space, but not there now. No more stars for me." Garnet frowned, looking closely at the core's shell. Pearl knitted her brow while Steven and Peridot looked on intently. Amethyst shrugged and walked away.

"Who made you for your job, then?"

The core faltered. "I… I'm not sure. Not a space company. Aperture… not from space. Not space dad, not real dad. Space dad in space, never seen again. Gotta go back to space! I have to find my space dad!"

"Don't we all," said Garnet. "So you say you were in space?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I was in space. Wanna go back. Be in the stars. Like that blue core and the other ships. The ones that left."

"Other ships?" asked Peridot, looking up at the Space Core. "They must have come from Homeworld. Where are they now?"

"Left to another part of space. Just like the blue core who left. Blue core was grabbed years and years ago. By another robot. And the first lady. It was fine though. He didn't like space anyway. But the ships disappeared further into space. I wanted to follow, but couldn't. Now I'm no longer in space."

"Garnet, what are you doing?" asked Pearl as the other gem was about to ask another question.

"Can't we just get rid of that thing already? It's not safe to have it around here." Garnet shook her head.

"This Space Core seems to know a lot. We have to keep him around just in case. He can tell us about what Homeworld has been up to recently."

"Yes," Steven exclaimed. "You get to stay! I'll show you how fun Earth can be, too. And when we're done, I promise we'll take you back to space."

"Nice. But hey. Hey kid, you know what's more fun than Earth? It's a secret. Let me tell you. It's space!"


End file.
